I was innocently browsing the remainder of the pawed-through Halloween accoutrements at a local variety store.
Suddenly, the evil Vampire Pooh flasher threatened to unabashedly assault me. Initially, I mistakenly assumed he intended to suck my blood, but, upon spying the eerie glow emanating from his neither-region, it became apparent that he was seeking yet another bodily fluid!
To defend myself, I stealthfully procured the closest kitchen gadget from the nearby close-out table, to use as my weaponry while simultaneously snapping his photo as evidence.