Just as I was taking this picture, the force of gravity suddenly increased directly beneath my feet, sucking everything downward with a rude, gluttonous slurp.

Thank the gods it was momentary, and my breasts bounced back up off the floor, no worse for wear. They've already taken their share of abuse after cumulative eons of breastfeeding my precious progeny.

I'll be tripping over them soon enough.

Now, what can I do about my face?