My beard started Jan. 1 as an elaborate sight gag. Later I decided that it would be my Cubbie Beard, and that I would keep it until the Cubs won a game, which they finally did April 3, beating the Reds 10-3.

Here I'm about halfway through shaving. Little did I know that underneath my beard was a sinister mustache that would make for excellent twirling!

Eamus catuli!